The New York Public Library
by Tospringe
Summary: Steve visits the New York Public Library a lot to catch up on the times. He's not sure if he likes doing it on his own. Set shortly after Avengers.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers or Marvel.**

**AN: first Marvel fanfic! *throws confetti***

* * *

Steve's days after the battle of New York usually followed a standard pattern. Well, one of three patterns really. He usually started out with a run, almost always following the same path through his old neighbourhood in Brooklyn where SHIELD had gotten him a new apartment. During that run he would find out whether this was a Bad Day, a Relatively Normal Day or a Good Day.

Something many people didn't realise was that Steve had only been awake for two weeks in the new millennium before being approached by director Fury about the Avengers Initiative. The day after that, he was walking around on a flying aircraft carrier, chatting with a soviet assassin and a brilliant physicist whose skin sometimes changed colour because of experimentation with the super soldier serum.

Where had he heard that before?

Anyway, if it was a Bad Day he would spend his day in the same gym director Fury had found him in. He'd started being a little bit more careful with the punching bags because he really didn't have the money to keep replacing them all the time. Well, technically SHIELD had supplied him with a credit card when they'd released him into the great big scary world but he didn't want to rely on them too much. He was already completely dependent on them and, if only for his own peace of mind, wanted to minimize the extent of his purchases as much as possible.

The Good Days Steve usually spent exploring New York, getting to know the city again. Much had changed over the years but the city was still unmistakably _his_ city and he felt a responsibility as much to New York as to himself to get to know it as he used to again. Other times he helped with the cleanup, but only on the very rare occasions he had a Really Really Good Day.

The Relatively Normal Days were spent catching up on everything he had missed. One of the first things Steve had done with the fake ID SHIELD had supplied him with was to apply for a Library Card so he could use good ol' fashioned books to catch up on seventy years of missed future. Or history. Or whatever. Somewhere along the lines he'd been told about something called the Internet which apparently was like books but on a screen but sometimes (all the time) he just needed something to ground himself, something books often seemed to do. And, to be honest with himself, he wasn't all that keen on starting to use this Internet thing either. The stories he'd heard about it were frightening.

So, New York Public Library it was. It was still located in the same building as it used to and while Steve hadn't had the time to visit it very often in the past, the same atmosphere of ancient knowledge and learning had welcomed him like an old friend when entering the building once more. Some of the layout and furnishing had changed, sure, but the Library was still so incredibly similar to how he remembered it, it was like a breath of fresh, dusty air.

The Division of United States History, Local History and Genealogy was still located in the same place it had been when he had visited it a few (plus seventy) years ago. He'd quickly found a useful research guide and was often seen skimming through it with a big pile of books around him, obscuring him from view and taking up at least half of the wooden table he had claimed as his own.

After he read about the events in Hiroshima and Nagasaki for the first time he threw up in a nearby trashcan. The next week and a half was spent in the gym.

So far he hadn't been approached by anyone yet (excluding that time he threw up and dry heaved in a trashcan and a nearby student tried to comfort him, failing miserably) for which he was grateful. His face had been revealed to the public during the Battle of New York but the people in the library seemed to be either too buried in their books to notice them, or understand he wanted to be left alone for this and not be bothered by them.

Okay, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to catch up on the time he'd missed all on his own. Maybe having someone to discuss it over with would actually be helpful, but it wasn't like there was anyone he could really do it with. Steve would rather approach a complete stranger than asking SHIELD for help and, trust him, he didn't want to approach a random stranger.

It hadn't escaped Steve's notice that he had been the only one leaving on his own after Thor and Loki's departure in New York Central Park.

As far as he knew, Barton and Romanoff were still working for SHIELD and Stark and doctor Banner were now occupying Stark Tower, probably living somewhere on the lower floors seeing as some of the upper floors were partially destroyed in the Battle of NY. The team hadn't really kept in touch.

It was really Steve fault, mostly. After getting medical care, sending Loki and Thor off to their own planet (!), eating everything digestible he could get his hands on and sleeping for what felt like days (for once not filled with nightmares) Steve had once more retracted in his usual routine. None of the people he had fought with for the fate of the world had seemed very eager to keep spending time with the man from another century and he couldn't really blame them. So he had kept to himself.

If that meant it took him a full twenty minutes after waking up alone after a nightmare to convince himself that yes, he was alive and yes, he was in a millennium not his own that was okay.

All this didn't change though, that whenever he read something unexpected or discussion worthy he still had no one to talk it over with. Until the fateful day that Bruce Banner was sitting behind one of the tables of The Division of United States History, Local History and Genealogy, completely engrossed in some article about the civil war with a pile of books next to him.

* * *

The library truly was a beautiful place. The ever present wood and warm lighting giving it the classic "old, upstanding library" feel, and the rows and rows of tables filled with hardworking students and researchers giving the place a human touch. Filling the building with a sense of important cause, usefulness, purpose. It was something Steve tried to absorb with all his might. And then there were the thousandths upon thousandths of books, more than anyone could ever read. It made Steve feel just a little bit better about his cluelessness about the century he was living in, knowing that nobody ever would be able to know all the knowledge available to them.

Steve had always liked being around books. Unfortunately, he had never been able to buy many of them. Most of the books he used to own were given to him by his school if he got really good grades. Reading them over and over again was one of the things he liked to do most when he was lying in bed sick, again. Most of the time when he hadn't been sick he was too busy to visit the library but every few months he found a few free hours to spend surrounded by books, completely drowning himself in the quietness and calm spread throughout all of the library. Now he had a lot more free time on his hands and after spending a few days in the library he got used to the serene atmosphere that filled everyone spending more than a few minutes in the House of Knowledge.

It really shouldn't be a surprise to Steve to find Bruce Banner spending his time in the library. It was almost physically impossible to imagine the Hulk strutting around in this place. Banner though, felt like someone sitting around in their natural habitat.

When Steve first noticed the man he almost turned on his heels and left the room right after walking in. He had no idea where _that_ instinct came from, he just knew he didn't want to talk with the doctor that brought up so many painful memories. He quickly shook the urge off. He had heard somewhere that people could be charted in one of three categories: if they face something dangerous their reactions to it can be categorized as either "fright, flight or fight". Steve definitely fell into the last category.

_Come on Steve, it's AmeriCAN, not AmeriCAN'T._ He dryly thought to himself before gathering his usual heap of books. This time, he didn't sit down at his usual table but took a chair across from doctor Banner. Their combined mass of books almost didn't fit on the table and Steve was slightly worried the thing would break under its combined weight. It didn't.

The good doctor didn't seem to notice him, engrossed in his book as he was, and Steve decided to just let him. He grabbed the book he had started reading the last time he had gone to the library (this one was about the evolution of cinema during the twentieth and twenty-first century) and started studying it where he had left off the last time. After a couple of pages he suddenly heard a surprised and really loud sounding "!" coming from the man sitting in front of him.

"St-" the doctor started off before halting and continuing with "Captain Rogers!" Steve grinned slightly. "You- how long have you been sitting there?" The doctor asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Only for about five pages. Don't worry." Steve answered with a smirk shining through his voice. Banner smiled nervously at him, clasping his hands together. After a few awkward moments Steve decided to ask him about the article he was reading.

"This? Oh, it's just for an argument I've been having with Pepper. She's sure that the political ideology of the soldiers in the civil war was the biggest cause for them taking part in it. I personally think their motivation was more personal and mostly about protecting their family and friends. I just thought I'd look up some books on the thing to stave my arguments a bit, but the historians seem to disagree a lot in between themselves too." The man frowned slightly.

"Hmm, back in school they taught us it was all about ideology." Steve mused. "But I don't know. Catching up on everything I've missed has certainly made it clear that history itself is looked at very differently now than like what I'm used to."

"I can imagine." Banner agreed before looking back down again. Steve took this as his sign to keep on reading himself. The two continued like this in slightly awkward silence until Bruce suddenly spoke up again, interrupting Steve from his reading about The Boys in the Band, (1970), Hollywood's first attempt to market a film to gay consumers.

"So, you come here often?" Steve looked up from his book, briefly meeting doctor Banner's eyes before the man looked away nervously.

"I suppose so. It's a good way of catching up. There's certainly enough information here." Steve mused. "To be honest, I just like this place."

Bruce smiled in agreement. "It certainly is nice. I should come here more often. It's nice to get out of the Tower for a change. Don't get me wrong, Tony's great company but I'm not sure how long I can keep controlling myself if he keeps poking me with all kinds of sharp objects all the time."

Steve snorted. "Would probably be smart to avoid freaking out. The cleanup is just going so well."

A surprised smile formed on Bruce's face. It looked like he was just about to reply something when an angry shush came from a nearby table and the two men quickly shut their mouths again, smiling wide smirks at each other and only barely containing their laughter. They were grown men. Really.

After this the two resumed their reading, this time in much more companionable silence. About an hour had past when Bruce had apparently found what he was looking for. He put back most of the books he had gathered around him, took two with him and, after shooting a quick smile and a wave at Steve, left.

It felt startlingly sad to continue reading on his own.

* * *

The next couple of times Steve visited the library it had lost its first soothing presence. The place wasn't able to minimize the sense of loneliness and loss he felt _everywhere_ else anymore but only seemed to amplify it. He still stubbornly kept visiting the place though. Steve was nothing if not persistent and self-destructive.

That was until Tony sat down next to him reading a book about Martin Luther King Jr. and started chattering continuously about Pepper and Bruce and the Tower and New York and the two of them were eventually removed from the premises by a steely elderly lady.

They continued their talk in a coffee shop until the general public started noticing them and they were forced to leave. The next time Steve went to the library he was actually kind of glad to be on his own again. Still, sitting down on his usual chair at his usual table he couldn't help but grin when remembering Tony's antics and the irritated looks shot their way by their neighbours.

* * *

After a visit from Romanoff and Barton it became kind of a regular thing for Steve to calmly be reading some book about some significant or insignificant thing in US or world history (and pretty soon also other topics because one can only read the words "primary sources" for so many times before going completely insane) before being interrupted by one or more Avengers. Or maybe interrupted wasn't the right word. Bruce and Natasha were quiet enough. Sometimes it even took Steve finishing a book or chapter before he noticed Natasha had sat down in front of him, most of the time reading some book about the psychology of cats or something.

Clint was always an unpredictable visitor. Sometimes he was already reading something when Steve walked in or quietly sat down next to him before grabbing a comic book from his bag. And then another comic book. And then another one.

Other times the archer walked in loudly bellowing about his how disappointed he was in the Yankees for their below par performance last game and Steve had to quickly put down his book and try to shush him before they got removed from the building.

Tony got them dispelled pretty much all the time.

Steve was kind of thankful Thor hadn't returned from Asgard yet. He was a bit afraid for the elderly lady's heart who had taken to informing them they had to leave whenever they were too loud. Still, it would be interesting to see her reaction to the alien. The guy was polite enough, maybe she'd like him?

Soon, whenever Steve and one or more Avengers left the library together they started going to Stark Tower to be able to talk more without either being thrown out or harassed by fans. The ugly skyscraper had been mostly restored to its previous glory by now and while Steve still thought it ruined the skyline, he had to admit the interior design was impressively sleek. All Pepper's work, according to Pepper.

Sometimes, he stayed over so late the others convinced him he should just sleep over. That had started happening suspiciously often as of late.

Eventually, he decided it would be a lot easier if he started keeping some pyjamas and a toothbrush at the tower.

Later, they all decided it would be far more convenient if he just moved all of his stuff over.

Steve was still often seen in the library, surrounded by nothing but books. But more often than not, he now would have one of Clint's comic books sitting in his bag for if he got bored by the serious literature, or was constantly distracted by his buzzing phone because Tony was grumpy about Bruce locking him out of his lab, wanting someone to complain to.

The visits to the gym had decreased greatly in frequency.

* * *

**AN: I really love libraries. Did you notice? I also need to mention that I've never been to the NY public library before, so I got all my information about it from the internet and made the rest of it up myself.**


End file.
